Are You Happy?

"On a scale of 1-0 are you happy?"

- Bo Burnham

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Happiness is one of those terms that doesn't really having a true meaning.

People have depression, people have other mental conditions, people have good days and bad days. Happiness is a relative term. Something closer to euphoric (I've been pretty partial to that word lately) and cheery would be better. That being said I'm going to talk about being happy anyway and use that word regardless. I just wanted to clear things up with the word and the connotations that follow it.

Happiness, my dear friends, is quite a lovely thing because you can posses it even if you're having a crummy day. I meet new people every day and always get the question "how are you." It's common courtesy to ask that, but instead of answering with "good" or "fine," I've been answering with "happy."

I am in a rut. I've had a lot of bad days mixed with a lot of good days. I've become angry and I've laughed till I've cried. I've spent days locked inside and days exploring the California coast. BUT I'm happy. I actually moved out to California by myself. I am going to my dream college in the spring, and have so many amazing friends out here.

I won't lie to y'all, I had a terrible day yesterday. I felt like I had been hit by a truck and drained of all motivation; I felt like a failure and wanted to cry. So much happened so quickly and it overwhelmed me to the point of isolation and anger. I was questioning myself and actions that did not need to be questioned, and being utterly self-deprecating.

So I removed myself from the situation and sat on my friends bed and went to my book and the Bible to try and calm me down, but I stared at the same page for 20 minutes and didn't take in any information. I picked up my journal in furry and started scribbling away everything that was wrong, quickly realizing how little there actually was I felt the sadness start to diminish. I still felt crummy, and the after effects are still lingering. However, I know these things have to happen for us to grow. We cant know happiness without sadness.

You see it's all like a rocky shore.

It's covered in stones and shells with barely any sand. The rocks though, they are smooth. We tend to look at the rocks and only see them as hard stones, uncomfortable to stand on and go through, but because they are smooth getting across them is easier. Sur they're still hard and can shift under your feet but without sharp edges you're less likely to become cut.

Happiness is the same. We tend to only see the world in front of us like an uneven and difficult surface, but don't look at what it's made of. The world is a total mess, and every obstacle with hit can shift and become either a steadier ground or make us fall, but because it's smooth we can still find happiness in it. Joy covers each rock to keep us from dying but the sadness and hardship is still the rock underneath. It's a hard walk but if you run your hand over it or step slowly you will find that there is happiness in everything.

Truly,

Abby

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