Being Alone

 
 
“if you wanted to do something absolutely honest, something true, it always turned out to be a thing that had to be done alone.”
― Richard Yates
 
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I don't remember if I've written on this before. 
I have spent so much of my life imaging a future with a husband, and a family, but in the end I could end up alone. You see, there's absolutely nothing wrong with being alone, in fact I quite enjoy it. If I'm bored I can do something and not worry at all how the other feels about it. I can cook whatever I want, clean whenever I want, heck I can just lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling for hours and have no second thoughts about it.
I have no problem with being alone, now or in the future. I deeply believe that either way I have the power to do immeasurable things with great force and conviction with or without someone by my side. Often times my only obstacles in this life are people, people feel the need to throw their opinions at you as if they were fact in hopes that you'll give them some satisfaction and make your mind like theirs.
 I intensely despise that.






 So many people think it's their way or the highway, but if I'm being honest I like the freeway better.
Freeways are roads separated from the rest of the traffic and can only be accessed by ramps; though they're still technically a highway they have controlled access.
My life is a freeway. I have my own opinions and desires and plans and I am the one who gets to chose who can drive through. My opinion is not fact, my desires are different, and my plans haphazard. I never asked anyone to tell me what they think of my life, but when I tell people what I do they seem to think it's an invitation to let me know what they think.
Don't get me wrong, I love people. However, i need an occasional break from them. We all do.
Sometimes I hope I'll end up in a little broken down building in the middle of nowhere with my few belongings and no real address. Just to lean up against a brick wall with a hammock above my head and a small fire, buying my groceries by the day because I don't have a fridge and sleeping in a tent because I don't have a roof. Sometimes that right there seems like heaven on earth.
Everyone needs to be alone.
Everyone needs to be with people.
We need to find the balance and only give directions to our freeway to those who we truly want to drive down it because there are only so many exists and freeways are pretty long.
I love you all.


Truly,
 Abby

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